Confronting Reality

Holy smokes. Holy schnikeeez. Holy suffering cats. Holy catfish. Seeing those numbers on screen and out in the open is a gut-wrenching eye-opener. Of course Nate and I have talked about our debt many times, but it all becomes very real when its laid out like that in the handy dandy spreadsheet. It’s terrifying, actually. But that is why we are going to get rid of it. We don’t want to be slaves to interest or loans. We are going to come together as a couple to get rid of that burden in our lives. For richer or for poorer, right? Sacrificing now for a couple three, four years (Nate will get into that) will allow us to reach our goals in a way that will make us so much more appreciative. Remind me of this when we are knee-deep into hardcore budgeting and I hate dislike my life because we are so broke and can’t do anything we want to do. Here are some of my thoughts going into this process:

·      I hope other young couples can relate. I know there are many other couples out there with a large amount of debt. There have to be other couples too, then, that are trying to do the same thing we are. That’s one thing that I’ve struggled with a bit—Nate and I don’t really have anyone to talk to that is in our same situation. We know people who have student loans, we know people who are paying off student loans, and we know couples, but we don’t know any other couples who are trying to pay off a large amount of student loans in a short period of time. So, in this process, I hope to connect with other couples in the same boat.

·      One of the reasons that I was initially “afraid” of this process was because it makes me adjust my timeline of life events that I had planned out in my head. For as long as I can remember, I wanted to get married young, buy a perfect little house that’s on acreage so there can be gardens and a tree house (so idealized, I know), and start having kids young. All of my friends know this about me, even though some of them roll their eyes when I talk about it. I had always “planned” to have kids around the age of 25. But now, because of what we are doing here, that’s not going to happen. And to be honest, it really...I don’t know what the correct word is...pains me to not be able to do that. Nate obviously knows this, and it bothers him that I’m hurt by it. Motherhood has always been something that I’ve so been looking forward to. It’s such a beautiful and wondrous thing and I’m impatient to get to that point in my life. So in the time being, Nate and I will be able to build a firm foundation of our relationship, have those years to ourselves, and totally be ready for when the time is “right” (as “right” as it can ever be). But I know that when it happens, it will be all the more beautiful. We both want a house and kids, so it will be motivation for us. Plus, I have my niece, Sydnee, and nephew, Taylor, to fulfill my “I want a baby!” urges. They are the cutest kids. Ever.

·      I’m really going to depend on Nate throughout this process. He is the money man. He is the one who totally understands all of this money business. I only understand the basics because my brain just doesn’t work like that, it never has. I’m so grateful for him and his ability to know the numbers and make a realistic and informed plan. And I’m so grateful that he is patient enough to explain things to me in a way that I can understand. Well, sometimes.

·      I’m thinking that we are going to need to get real creative with how we spend our money. We are going to need to rethink all of our purchases in terms of entertainment, food, things/décor for around the apartment, etc. But secretly, I think both Nate and I are kind of excited for that. It will be something that we can do together. We can look around the cities for fun, free (or cheap!) entertainment, ways that we can cut costs on food, and can start doing DIY projects around the apartment. I think it will be a good opportunity to get out more and do things like go to nearby regional or state parks with the pup, for example. If we need to do these things in order to put as much money as we can toward our debt, might as well have a little bit of fun.

·      It will help us live a more simple life. In today’s world, a lot of emphasis is put on the possessions you have and the brands of those possessions. Of course I like nice things. But I also know that these things are totally unnecessary to be happy. Am I jealous of people who have designer clothing and accessories? Sure. Would those items make me have a higher quality of life? No. Going through this process will really show Nate and I what the important things in life are. Even though we won’t be able to buy fancy clothes or items, go to dinner every week, or spend lots of money on fun things to do, we will be able to spend time with family and friends, make dinner at home together, and go on lots of walk with the pupperz (yes, I call Mazi that—don’t judge me). Paying down debt and being on a strict budget will force us to realize what’s truly important in life and how little you actually need to be happy. And there’s real value in that.

            Let the adventure begin.