Need to Be at Peace

Nate and I were talking before going to bed bed last night, like we usually do. Naturally, the topic of money came up. Sometimes I don’t understand the full extent of my emotions until I talk about them. I’m a quiet person so I don’t always say what’s on my mind. When we were talking about money, it made me realize just how angry I am. I was telling Nate how I’m kind of angry at myself for going to an expensive out-of-state school for two years (against my parent’s wishes—I guess they really do know better sometimes) and then transferring back home just to acquire a ton of debt as a result of the schooling. I go to work to pay off all the debt. And then if all goes according to plan, I will be a stay-at-home momma when we start a family. So, what was the freaking point of going to school in the first place? I know there are many good reasons for going to college, but you get my point. I’m angry because it’s like we don’t even have that money that goes towards the loans each month. It’s a lot of money, but it’s as if it was never ours to begin with. I’m angry that our apartment isn’t nicer, that we can’t buy a house, and that we can’t (shouldn’t) start a family. When you really look at it, though, these are anger issues that I’m causing for myself. As Nate pointed out to me, I’m not at peace with the way we have decided to live our life right now. He pointed this out to me because this is exactly the way he is feeling to. Even though we have consciously, deliberately decided to do this thing called paying off debt and that it is the best thing to do and that it will pay off in the long run—we aren’t at peace with it yet. We know what we should be doing and how we should do it, but we haven’t totally accepted it yet. We have to, or at least I do, accept it in our hearts and minds. With time and some personal work, then, hopefully I will be at peace with it.

I was doing some fact-checking at work the other day and came across this gem of a poem called “Don’t Quit” by Edgar Albert Guest. It really resonated with me. Read it. It’s good.

When things go wrong, as they sometimes will,
when the road you're trudging seems all uphill,
when the funds are low and the debts are high,
and you want to smile but you have to sigh,
when care is pressing you down a bit—rest if you must, but don't you quit.
Life is queer with its twists and turns.
As everyone of us sometimes learns.
And many a fellow turns about when he might have won had he stuck it out.
Don't give up though the pace seems slow —you may succeed with another blow.
Often the goal is nearer than it seems to a faint and faltering man;
Often the struggler has given up when he might have captured the victor's cup;
and he learned too late when the night came down,
how close he was to the golden crown.
Success is failure turned inside out —the silver tint of the clouds of doubt,
and when you never can tell how close you are,
it may be near when it seems afar;
so stick to the fight when you're hardest hit—it's when things seem worst, you must not quit.

On a different note, tonight I made some super yummy peanut butter cookies. I gave some to the hubby when he was studying for the CPA exam…I think that put a little smile on a face.

Grown-Up Things

Since being married, one thing is for sure. You have to do a bunch of grown-up things. They are things you never think about doing until you have to do them. Things like getting a joint checking/savings account, combining insurances, and changing your name. Oh dear—changing your last name is such a pain in the butt. You need a bunch of documents to change one thing and then that new thing to change another thing, and so forth. It’s weird because I don’t feel old enough to have to do all of these things. But it also feels good to have all that done and for everything to be official official.

Another grown-up thing I’ve started doing is meal planning. I thought I would maybe meal plan when I had kids, just to be organized and all that. But, honestly, I have started doing it simply to stay within the budget for food. I do a two-week meal plan (just dinners), and it obviously makes grocery shopping easy because you know exactly what you need. When we are at the grocery store, I keep track of the grocery list on my phone and Nate uses his phone to keep track of the costs of all the food. Seriously. We only budget $110.00 every two weeks for food, so sometimes we put something back so we can get some ice cream. Priorities people, priorities. Another thing we do to save a little bit of money on food is go to Aldi for some items. I didn’t want to go there for the longest time for whatever reason, but I finally went and discovered that it’s totally worth it for some things. They have a heck of a deal on chips, granola bars, NUTS (so much cheaper than the other grocery stores!), some really good deals on some fruits and veggies, and brie. We are still kind of learning what is worth getting there, but it seems to be helping with the budget. Then we obviously go to the main grocery store to get everything else. It’s not glamorous, but it’s necessary.

Winter Blues

It’s been awhile since I've posted anything. Anyone who knows an accountant is familiar with this time of year being crazy busy, and to be honest, the last thing I really want to do after looking at numbers all day, is come home and look at more numbers. I must confess that sitting down and writing these posts out after a long day at work feels more like a college paper than anything. However, after a few many strong nudges from my lovely wife, here I am. Her encouragement for me to keep up with these posts speaks to the kind of woman I married. It’s a known fact that money issues, or differences in managing styles of money, lead to more divorces than any other reason. The inverse of that truth is then inherently also true; being on the same page, having open communication, and constantly supporting and encouraging each other when it comes to our financial lives should then produce healthy and growing marriages. I think this was a small example of this. The purpose of this blog was never directly linked to our ability or our wanting to pay off debt, but it was linked to our dedication to being a team. Being accountable to each other is the only way we will ever follow through with fully paying this off. And so, even though I may not want to always take the time to document this journey, keeping with what we agreed to do as a couple is far more important than any debt we will pay off.

Here is a brief summary of what we have done so far since first deciding to pay off our debt back in May of 2013. We didn't start making extra payments until after our wedding in October 2013, however, minimum payments still decreased the overall balance during that time so I decided to include that time as well. The rest of this post may get a little more technical, complete with tables and numbers, so I hope I don’t bore you too much, but I think it’s important to go over how we are making the extra payments that we are.

As a disclaimer, and as mentioned in a previous post, we were gifted some money back in November and without hesitation we threw it at the loans, so the overall amount paid includes this amount. However, it’s so encouraging to see the progress we've made in such a short time. It should also be mentioned that by no means has this journey been easy. Nothing good is ever easy. Otherwise there would be a lot more millionaires out there.    

I've always been one to create budgets, but making ones that I would stick to was a different matter. My theory was that I just liked creating spreadsheets more than budgets themselves. Jeez, nerd much? There is only one major difference between the budgets of the past and the budget that we do now and that is that each month we create an entirely new budget. Why? Well, obviously there are many fixed costs every month that don’t change, however, it’s the variable ones that will make or break a budget. Since every month is different, it made sense to create a new budget reflecting those differences. The last week of each month we have decided to sit down and have a “budget meeting”. This isn't as intimidating as it sounds. Simply put, we just talk about what types of things could come up in the next 30 or so days. Examples: birthday dinners, road trips to visit friends, vet visit for the pup, coffee with friends, haircuts, etc. After making a list of these things, we then adjust our budget accordingly.

The one thing to note is that we never go below a set amount of extra payments. For example, below is a table of the minimum payment amounts at the beginning of December. We felt comfortable to be able to pay an extra $1,100 payment each month. When added to the minimum payment amount, we get the total amount going to loans of $2,516.79. As we continue to pay off loans our minimum payment amounts will obviously go down, however, the overall amount going to loans should never go below the $2,516.79. This is outlined by us paying off one of the Fed Loans below, dropping our minimum payment by $21.63. This is then simply added to our extra payment amount keeping our overall payment amount unchanged. Some months we may decide that we are able to pay more than the $1,121.63 in extra payments due to the fact that we don’t anticipate having to spend money on birthday dinners or vet visit or what have you.

Whew, you made it. I know that kind of gets monotonous, but I wanted to briefly share how we approach our monthly budget and extra payment amounts. If anyone wants me to go into more detail exactly how we have our budget set up let us know! Shaina has a hard time keeping up with me when I start to ramble about the numbers, so I have to try and deliver them in short concise bits, so that I don’t lose her to Pintrest halfway through the conversation. But I'd be glad to dive in deeper. 

Before I wrap up, I am excited to say that at the end of March, pending a work bonus and our tax return, we will be able to pay off another loan, which is currently sitting at a balance of $4,661.09! I also hope to try and keep up with this better than I have been and post more about our change in routines when it comes to saving and spending money.   

-Nate

A Little Love Story

I thought I would share our “love story” since it is Valentine’s Day and all. As I’ve said before, Nate and I met online. I joined the site as a complete joke with my friends and was just having fun with it. One night, Nate messaged me saying that he has always wanted a boxer. I think I may have fallen in love with him right then. Just kidding. For the next week we talked constantly, getting to know more about each other. We had our first date a week after we first started talking. Before I left, I told my mom that I was going to meet my future husband. Not kidding.

I met Nate in a parking lot so that he could drive. Sounds kinda sketching doesn’t it, with us never meeting before and all? We went to downtown St. Paul. It was all pretty and glittery with lights everywhere and what not. I thought Nate had a plan of what we were going to do. No. Absolutely not. We start walking around like he can’t find the restaurant when he tells me he doesn’t know where we are going. I was like ummmmm, okay? The organizer and planner inside me was having a minor panic attack. He thought that there would be many restaurants to choose from. But there wasn’t. So he got out his freaking phone and was using GPS to find some restaurant. And we were walking along with the GPS. It’s funny when you think about it. I can’t remember who initiated it, but we held hands and it felt so natural. Eventually, we found a restaurant and had a great time, even though I nearly knocked down a string of lights inside when I was taking off my coat. To this day we can’t remember the name of the restaurant! We’ve tried Googling it, but nothing rings a bell. We keep on meaning to go walk around over there again to see if we can find it. When he dropped me off at my car later that night he kissed me. I was all the more convinced that I was going to marry him.

We hung out the next night too. From there we were always talking, hanging out, and learning more about each other. He would come over after work, not leave until 1:00, 2:00 in the morning, and be up for work again the next day. We also texted an obnoxious amount. I just couldn’t get enough of him. We talked about moving in together within two months of the relationship. We moved in together after about six months. Some may have thought that it was rushing things, but when you know, you know. I know that is an annoying saying, but it’s true. You just don’t realize it until it happens to you.

On our one year dating anniversary (mushy gushy, I know), Nate proposed (at 8:00 AM might I add). And on October 5 we got married! The day was so fun and filled with so much love.

I’m so blessed to have found a guy that is in this life with me together. We have the same dreams and goals and are looking forward to all the things that we will accomplish together. Through successes and failures, I know that I have a partner who will always be there for me, support me, respect me, and love me. 

 This is the first picture we ever took together.

 

This is one of the most recent pictures of us. 

 

Tiny Glimpse Into Parenthood

This past weekend we watched our niece and nephew so my sister and her husband could have a well-deserved weekend away. Nate and I absolutely adore Sydnee and Taylor, so we were happy to have that time with them. These two kiddos are so god darn cute and smart, I’m glad we were able to have them all to ourselves for a bit.

Here are some snippets into our weekend, minus the numerous “I want a snack,” “let’s watch a movie,” etc. etc.

Sydnee (who is three-and-a-half) is a master negotiator. When I put her to bed, she said, “Okay Shaina, leave my door open, turn my music on, and sit in my chair.” So I obliged. Half hour later she was calling out so I went up to her room and she asked for her music to be put back on. And for the door to stay open. And for me to sit in her chair. So I obliged again. Half hour after that she was crying so I went up there and she wanted her music turned on again. I just hugged her for a little bit and she finally fell asleep…until 3:00 AM. All the while, little guy slept all night until 8:30 in the morning. Bless him.

In the morning we made muffins with Sydnee while Taylor was still sleeping and played at home until mid-morning. We took them to an indoor playground in Woodbury. It was pretty cool, but a little too advanced for their abilities. I was a proud auntie though. Taylor was happily running around and climbing up the pseudo rock wall to go down the slide all by himself. Over and over. Sydnee is so social and kind to complete strangers. She befriended a little girl who was not so sure of Sydnee but Sydnee kept on saying, “Hi, I’m Sydnee, I’m three, what’s your name?” They then took turns going down the slide. Cuteness.

Fast forward to Sunday. We were getting ready to go to Noodles for lunch. We were playing in the living room when we told them we were going to go to a restaurant (Sydnee loves restaurants, maybe because she thinks all restaurants have a playground like McDonalds). She was cool with the idea until we told her it was time to get ready to go. She all of a sudden wanted to go play outside. Cue the toddler tantrum. She hesitantly put her coat and boots on while bawling. I went down to her level and asked “Hunny, what’s wrong?” to which she responded, “I don’t know!” I then just hugged her to acknowledge her feelings and she stopped crying. It’s times like these, which are obviously on a very small scale, that really make me think about how much kids are rushed and told what to do. Obviously there are things to do and places to be, but I can’t help but feel bad about it sometimes. Kids take such joy in the very moment that they are in. It really is a joy to watch if you take the time to notice.

I love knowing these kids’ quirks. I’m so lucky that I do. Some of Sydnee’s saying are turning into classics. For example, if you ask her, “Sydnee, do you know what we are doing tomorrow?” she will say, “Yeah.” But if you then ask her, “Well what are we doing?” she will then say, “I dunno, can you tell me?” Or if you say something she didn’t hear or understand she will say, “whatchu say?” It’s so freaking cute. Taylor loves dip. He calls ketchup bop-bop. Sydnee had to explain that one to me. If Taylor sees something that he wants, his eyes get big and he points and yells. His cuddles are the best. When you get him out of his crib after a nap, he always cuddles you for a little bit before he fully wakes up. There are few things better in life.

My sister makes being a mom/parenting look so effortless (most of the time, hehe). She would probably disagree with that statement, but if you are around her a lot in different situations, she always seems to have control and handles life with such grace. I can only aspire to be as good of a wife and mother as she is. She is raising two amazing children…I can only imagine how much these kids will accomplish in life.

Nate and I are grateful that we are able to spend so much time with Sydnee and Taylor not only because we simply love spending time with them, but it also gives us a chance to practice teamwork and figure out our “parenting” style, even though we aren’t parents yet. Nate is so good with them; it makes me even more excited to see him as a dad in the future.

Lastly, both of our arms hurt from playing with and picking up the kids. Seriously.

It's not complicated, but it's difficult

So far, we haven’t been good at posting regularly. I kept on reminding the hubby that he should write a post about the January budget and just an overall update on how much debt we have paid off so far, but he has been so busy at work lately. I doubt that he wants to spend any more time looking over numbers. Hopefully soon he will post about the details of our monthly budget and exactly how much we have paid off and expect to pay off in the next couple months. 

I will only talk about one number-specific thing. I got another paid in full notification! We paid off $2,200.00. It’s not a huge number, but still motivating. It’s also helpful because the money that we were paying each month for that loan will go into the snowball effect for the other loans. We plan on paying off a $3,000-some loan by the end of March (see, this is why I shouldn’t be the one who talks about the exact numbers; I don’t really know what I’m talking about). After that, the loan amounts drastically rise. Even though it’s still been kind of difficult to stay motivated and on track the past few months, it has helped that the loan amounts have been smaller since each time one is paid off, it’s like a mini celebration and confirmation that what we are doing is working. The loan amounts (since we are doing the debt snowball) will get larger and larger. This means that it’s going to take longer and longer to get the satisfaction of paying each of them off. We will need to figure out how to stay motivated (anyone have any tips!?) since it will probably feel like we are getting nowhere for awhile. But I know that what we are doing is the right thing for us in the long run.

It’s crazy how much my behavior has changed already. Changing your behavior is absolutely necessary to paying off debt. If you don't change your behavior, then it won't work. For example, I’ve been wanting a new purse now for many months. Parts of it were starting to fall apart awhile ago and this past weekend the zipper completely broke. Instead of buying a new one (which I totally would have done before we started this journey), I’m now using one of my “old” ones (one that is starting to get worn out too). This example is trivial, but it shows that I’ve learned to make due and be grateful for what I have. With a lot of material items that I want or experiences that cost money, I always tell myself that our goals are more important. I want to be debt-free, I want to buy a house, I want to have a family, and so forth, WAY more than I want the newest whatever-it-is.

What we are doing is not complicated, but it is difficult.